Following yesterday's "interview" with Kyle Scanlan, the editor and founder of The Whiskey Journal, on the website's redesign and relaunch, I awoke with my head still throbbing. Scanlan told me near the end of the "interview" -- before, I believe, I was knocked unconscious -- that they had a second announcement to make, and I assumed it would come today.
After I woke up, I went to dine at some fancy downtown restaurant for breakfast. I'm not going to name it, just understand it's real exclusive and they made me put on pants. Halfway through my meal, I got a note that the sous chef wanted to see me. I said I was busy, but the maître d' was insistent.
I was forcibly escorted into the back of the restaurant, where the sous chef, who was wearing a mask but clearly had a graying beard and some pretty cool visible tattoos, deadpanned that it was time for me to meet Scanlan yet again. I sighed as they put a potato sack over my head, again to hide wherever we were going.
They then walked me about 20 steps, took off the sack and pushed me through a door marked "Men's Restroom." Strangely enough, the restaurant's bathroom also looked exactly like Scanlan's lair from the previous day. And sitting on a pile of iPads was Scanlan himself.
"Sit," he demanded, pointing toward the floor in front of him.
"What will be our topic of conversation today, boss?" I asked, as Scanlan is still, strangely, the man who writes my cheques and gives me health insurance.
"We're bringing back The Whiskey Journal Live! in a few weeks," he said.
I was stunned. But not so stunned that I didn't take amazing notes. Here's the details of our conversation, edited to remove excessive profanity, one weird diatribe about the elderly and Scanlan's family chocolate chip cookie recipe.
Andy Boyle: Why are you bringing back the critically-acclaimed The Whiskey Journal Live! show?
Kyle Scanlan: Simple: It was awesome and more than 250 people came to see it during our five-week run in May.
AB: Wow, that's a lot of people. Give me the show's details.
KS: You do not order me to do anything. But I will tell you anyway. It will be held at The Lincoln Lodge at the Lincoln Restaurant, the first Wednesday of every month, at 9 p.m. Our first show is Nov. 6th.
AB: The Lincoln Lodge? Isn't that place the bee's knees?
KS: They are not only the bee's knees, but also the rest of the bee's torso. It's a great place to see and watch comedy, and as our show is awesome, we're excited to have it at an awesome venue.
AB: How much will the show cost?
KS: It will cost $5 in human currency online, or $10 at the door. We will gladly take more money, though, if you are willing.
AB: The previous shows were known for the mesmerizing monologue, the dexterous desk pieces, the vivacious video segments, the pugnacious panel and the lack-of-lethargy live band. Will the format be similar to the previous run?
KS: That was too much alliteration.
AB: I am sorry.
KS: You are not forgiven. Anywho, I don't want to spoil all the fun we have in store, but if you're a fan of laughter, and a fan of people getting shocked in the neck with a dog collar when they get random trivia questions wrong, you will enjoy the show.
AB: Anything else the show will have?
KS: We will also have copious amounts of giant beers and waffle fries, which are essential to all comedic endeavors.
AB: That's always a good selling point for a comedy show.
KS: It is. While I have little to no actual ability to feel feelings, if I did I'm sure I would be very excited and thrilled to be a part of this, and also quite thankful for The Lincoln Lodge in letting us have our shows there.
That's the last thing I wrote down before it all went black. I woke up sometime later, tucked into the bed of my Lakeview apartment, my head throbbing where I was obviously clubbed yet again. I was happy, though, knowing in just a few weeks The Whiskey Journal Live! would be back and comedy would be saved yet again.
-Andy Boyle