I was sitting on the bus the other night when I had a pretty interesting thought. I thought, hey, it would be really nice to have a boner right now. I wasn’t even aroused, it just seemed like a prime boner time. Lonely bus, sitting in the back row, had the back row all to myself. A boner would be interesting right now. It would keep me company. A boner would be my friend. But I’ll never have a boner, because I don’t have a penis.

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