EXCLUSIVE Late Live Show Sketchfest Teaser

Joe Kwaczala here. Since this is our first time doing the show on a Friday when people have work, The Late Live Show does not have the luxury of using the daytime to rehearse. I'm trying to make the best use of our time, so I sent out some direction to the cast via e-mail, along with this sad little diagram I made in MS Paint. So consider it a tantalizing look behind the scenes! Does this teaser get you all teased up and excited? What could it be for?!? Also, if anyone needs me to do any freelance MS Paint work, I am very busy right now, so please find someone else.

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Tickets are available at http://thelateliveshow.com/tickets

The Late Live Show presents: Razzin' Rudolph

Hello, friends! here, host of The Late Live Show. Did you know that we're having a Christmas special this Saturday? Well, we are, and you should be excited because this installment will have more comedic content than a normal episode. However, there were still some ideas that we liked that didn't make it very far in our writing process for whatever reason. But since you're such a nice person, I'm going to let you take a peek at one of these ideas that could have been...

I think the title of the sketch came before the idea, which is a thing that sometimes happens with us. In a writers' meeting, the phrase "Razzin' Rudolph" was uttered for some reason, and it got the room riffing on the premise, "What if Rudolph was in the front row of a Def Comedy Jam show when an insult comic was on stage?" Below are some jokes/insults that the comic maybe would have said. I think we talked about the comic also being a reindeer. Whatever he was, his jokes were meant to be really really bad, but the audience can't get enough of it. The other part to this was that Rudolph just wanted to have a nice night out with his wife; they're getting older, maybe drifting apart, and this is not helping.

Anyway, here are the jokes. If this is your first exposure to The Late Live Show, please keep in mind that the following is maybe the culmination of two minutes of thought:

  • Lookit this muthafucka's nose. What kinda WACK ass crack he into?! Look like maybe BAMBI's on her period!
  • Yo, if his nose so bright... why his brain so stupid?!
  • Ha ha! With your big red nosed-ass sittin up front like "uhhh, excuse me."
  • This Prancer-lookin' ass got a maraschino cherry for a nose.
  • Hey idiot, how'd your nose even get like that? From giving head to a stop light?
  • I see your children don't have red noses. Probably because your wife fucked some regular ass deer to make them!
  • You like a shape-shiftin' CLOWN with that nose.
  • What's your name? Rudolph? Motherfucker's name is RUDOLPH. Well, it's RUDE OLPH you to show ya broke ass face in public! Ya ugly! Look at him. Motherfucker think he Blitzen or some shit. Goddamn...

So as you might have already guessed, one of the main reasons behind this bit's rejection was "Guys, what are we doing?" But please come to The Late Live Show Christmas Special this Saturday. We actually worked hard on it. Plus, we've got Erik Adams from The A.V. Club and holiday music from The Nothingheads! How can you say no?!

Tickets available here: http://thelateliveshow.com/tickets

A short thing before this Friday's fundraiser

There's a (11/16) at saki for 's Aunt and Uncle, whose home in Brick, New Jersey was completely destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. The show features standup from Junior Stopka, Will Miles, CJ Toledano, and Joe Kwaczala, and music from Gabe Liebowitz from Dastardly. We've also received several generous prize donations from local businesses like Second City, , The Music Box Theatre, and more, which we'll be raffling off at the show.

If you'd like to make a donation but can't come out to the show, head over to Joe's website and click the giant "donate" button in the top left corner.

What follows is a brief piece from Joe about his family and his personal connection to New Jersey.

My aunt and uncle along with their two boys just lost their home the other day to Hurricane Sandy.  It seems hard to even imagine completely losing your house, but I've seen the pictures, there was about 5 feet of water in their living room and it completely destroyed nearly everything they owned.

I'm racking my brain to think of a comparable situation I may have been in.  One time someone stole my clothes at a party, it was weird.  That might be the closest.  

It's hard to imagine a place you used to visit being gone.  I went to their home a lot as a kid, it was my favorite place.  

My aunt Krissy McAdam was always "the fun aunt".  She is a lot younger than my dad and had Grateful Dead posters and a Nintendo.  I remember meeting her husband for the first time too.  He showed up with literally a car's trunk full of candy.  I'm not kidding at all.  To this day, I've never seen such a thing.

My memories of visits with her are some of my favorites, she would always take me out to the boardwalk to go on rides, play carny games and all the other Jersey-type fun.  She used to own a pseudo-head shop store that sold bootleg concerts and incense and all that, and it was my favorite place to hang out.  I'd sit around there all day learning juggling sticks or something.  She let me be in a parade float for her store one time too.  I got to dress up like a Grateful Dead bear and ride a jet ski on the bed of a truck.  This sounds weird and looking back, it was.  To me New Jersey was like an entire state that was an amusement park.  Now I know that it's just Jersey, but my aunt and uncle made it the best place imaginable to a kid.

Even growing up and visiting as a teenager was great.  I remember having one of my first beers at that house (if you tell my dad, I'll fucking kill you.  Also if you tell him about the swearing, well, that's not exactly cool either.)

The point is, my aunt Krissy and her family have been really important to me.  They've been extremely generous and have always been some of the most welcoming and loving people I know.  As a young nephew you're rarely in the position to do something to return the favor.  But right now they need some support to get back on their feet and rebuild.  I'm a broke comic, but I have a lot of good-hearted friends so I figured I'd use the only real skill I have, tricking people into laughing, to help them out.  I know what I'm able to give back pales in comparison to what they've given me, but I feel like they don't even want me to dress them up like Dead bears at this point anyway.

-Joe McAdam

Go to The Lincoln Lodge this month

The Lincoln Lodge was the first place I was exposed to comedy in Chicago, and is certainly one of the best rooms for standup in the city. They've just kicked off their 13th season with four sold out shows featuring Chicago ex-pat this past weekend, and have a solid block of shows announced through the end of the month. A few highlights include:

, featuring , , and The Amazing Tomas! on Friday, October 19th.
Ken Barnard was one of my favorite local acts here in Chicago before he relocated to LA in the Summer of 2011. He was caustic with an eye for the absurd, with a presence that either upped the hilarity or the discomfort level in the room, depending on the audience (I've seen both). Solomon, Kwaczala, and Gonzalez are all very talented local standups (and cast members at The Lodge), and The Amazing Tomas! is a magician who can be seen deepthroating a balloon in the following video:


Five days later, The Lodge is hosting the launch of a new food-focused storytelling series called Eat This!. The inaugural show will feature stories (and a few samples) from Doug "Hot Doug" Sohn, Chicagoist Editor Chuck Sudo, Producer of WGN's America's Best Bites Madeleine Yastrow, head chef at Small Bar: Division Justin White, and a handful of other folks from various facets of the dining industry, as well as several students ages 6-18 from the 826CHI writing program. 

You can (and should) buy tickets to both of these shows on The Lincoln Lodge's website. Stay tuned for more information about upcoming shows and special events at this, one of the longest-running and most reliably great venues in Chicago.

Top 10 Rejected Late Live Show Jokes

The fifth season of The Late Live Show​ is coming to a close this weekend, after another wildly successful run. One of my favorite portions of the show is also the loosest: when Joe Kwaczala and Joe McAdam, host and cohost, read off some of the week's rejected jokes while the musical guests set up. These jokes are puerile, bizarre, and occasionally prefaced by "oh god, I can't read this..." 

In honor of the Late Live Show's season finale, I asked the writers to submit a list of their favorite rejected jokes from this season, which you can read after this intro, provided by Joe McAdam.

The Late Live Show Season 5 finale is this Saturday​, October 6th, at 8pm at Stage 773. Click here to preorder tickets.

"​Each week at The Late Live Show, 10 writers submit jokes for the monologue, typically 6 of which make it to the show.  Dozens of jokes are thrown away because they're awful, immature, crude, mean, too "penis-y", lame, not funny, way too weird or, (more often than any of those other reasons) there are too many dog jokes on the show already.  So here's a list of 10 crappy jokes that never made it."

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