With Christmas less than a week away (and our big Christmas Show tonight!), myself and the rest of Oh Theodora understand you’re probably getting sick of all the same old songs playing in every store/car/car store you’ve been in the last two months. So, in order to keep you in the Christmas Spirit, here’s a playlist I’ve created of some lesser known Christmas gems to play while wrapping your brother’s Gift Card to Kenny Roger’s Roasters.
Jogi Jorgenson- I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas
Jogi, well-known to all of us as the hitmaker behind “Who Hid The Halibut OnThe Poopdeck?” provides us with a tale of screwy uncles, hangovers, and mis-pronouncing words in a Sort-Of Swedish accent for absolute maximum Comic Effect.
Art Mooney & His Orchestra- Santa Claus Looks Just Like Daddy
If you were a fan of the illusion-breaking tale of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” here’s the exact same story except sung by a clearly way too fat child. One listen, and you’ll never be able to get the image of this ‘Santa” getting ashes all over Tubby’s Mommy’s blouse. NOTE: This story also comes in Black.
Eve 6- Noel! Noel!
Agent: “Eve 6! Eve 6! I got you a spot on the next Very Special Christmas CD! But you gotta send in your track by tomorrow!
Eve 6: Tomorrow? But we don’t have a Christmas song!
Agent: That’s fine. Just think, long and deep. What does Christmas mean to you?
Eve 6: Well, I like Christmas. Christmas is fun.
Agent: Terrific! Go with that angle!
Old 97s- Here It Is Christmastime
Rhett Miller, proving good Christmas songs are still capable of being created even after the peak releases of The Jingle Cats.
...Actually scratch "Here It Is Christmastime," I can’t believe I found a Youtube link of the Jingle Cats performing What Child Is This. That’s fucking crazy...AND DOGS INTERRUPT IT BY SINGING HAVA NAGILA! HOLY SHIT!
In case you missed the link above, here's the video embedded Three Times:
Alright, so let’s get this straight:
This Jingle Cats (ft. Jingle Dogs) “What Child Is This/Hava Nagila” mash-up is insinuating two things that I can’t get out of my head.
1) Cats are Christian
2) Dogs are Jewish
Does this change THE ENTIRE WORLD for anyone else?!
I mean, if all dogs are Jewish, then they don’t believe in heaven.
DOES THIS MEAN NO DOGS GO TO HEAVEN?!
And I HATE cats! Does that mean that even if I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, when I die, I’m going to have a bunch of goddamn cats lounging around all my stuff?! NO SPANK YOU (copyright 1994, Ace Ventura).
God, I can’t get this out of my head. Christmas is seriously in danger of being ruined right now. If you have any answers or healing words regarding this quandry I’ve found myself in, come to Show Theodora: Christmas Edition tonight, and help me out!
As Jogi Jorgenson would say, “I’m slowly yosing my faith in Yesus.”