Pizza Party presents The Perfect Show, in three acts

I interviewed Pizza Party, a three man improv troupe made up of Walt Delaney, Alex Honnet, and Brian McGovern, for Chicagoist a few weeks ago, and recently checked out one of their Tuesday night shows alongside Where Da Party At? in the Del Close Theater at iO. After these two fun as heck experiences, I can safely say that they're one of my favorite teams going right now.

The boys were nice enough to craft this trio of perfect improv scenes, so as to give readers a taste of what to expect from an ideal Pizza Party set. Check it out below, and be sure to catch them at iO, Tuesday nights at 10:30 through August 6th.


WALT
Hi Everyone, We’re...

ALL
Pizza Party!

WALT
Can we get a suggestion of anything at all?

MATT
Large Diamonds.

ALL
Large Diamonds. Thank you. And a-one and a-two and a-you know what to do...


I. The Perfect Scene by Walt Delaney
Cast:
Walt Delaney: Dr. Medicine
Brian McGovern: David Cheerios
Alex Honnet: Elaine

Lights up on 3 super chill dudes who have just received the suggestion of Large Diamonds. They begin their journey of discovery. They all open up a bottle of beer using their hands.

DAVID CHEERIOS
Hello and welcome to my diamond store.

DR. MEDICINE
Yes and thank you for having us. I need to buy a ring for my soon to be wife.

ELAINE
Oh baby, baby, I want this big diamond.

DAVID CHEERIOS
Ah, good choice. You must be a beauty queen.

ELAINE
I AM.

DR. MEDICINE
We’ll take it, and we’ll pay for it in blood.

Dr. Medicine puts down his beer and pulls out a gun. He’s not kidding around. Today is the day.

ELAINE
That’s right you pussy fuck, this is a stick up. We are from Sierra Leone and these are blood diamonds. You are bad man.  

DAVID CHEERIOS
Yes you’re right, I am bad man. I never even wanted to be a diamond millionaire. I really wanted to be a vroom vroom race car driver.

DR. MEDICINE
I always wanted to marry a race car driver.

ELAINE
Marry him Dr. Medicine, I want you to be happy.

DAVID CHEERIOS
It’s all happening so fast. Are you proposing to me?

DR. MEDICINE
I wish I could, but some countries don’t honor same sex unions, and this is one of those countries.

ELAINE
Sounds like the real villains are....

DAVID CHEERIOS
The government.

-Brian sweep edits-

II. The Perfect Scene by Brian McGovern
Cast:
Alex Honnet: Joffrey
Brian McGovern: Duke Big Buck Money Sack
Walt Delaney: Derb Musk

The Duke stands, staring out an enormous window overlooking his gigantic estate. He seems to have it all, but does he really!?

DUKE
It would seem I have it all, but do I really?

The Duke sighs. Enter Joffrey, the droll butler.

JOFFREY
Sir, would you care for another shrimp cocktail?

DUKE
What’s the point of buying a party platter of shrimp if no one comes to my party?

JOFFREY
(dripping with British sarcasm)
Well, I’m sure the fish monger appreciates it, sir.

DUKE
Really, you think so?

JOFFREY
No... I was just busting out another one of my classic droll comm...

Enter Derb Musk

DERB
Howdy, are you Duke Money Sack? Duke Big Buck Money Sack?

DUKE
Yes, and who are you?

DERB
I’m the fish monger...and also YOUR SON.

JOFFREY
I err...gotta go throw anothah shrimp on tha barbie!


-Alex sweep edits-

III. The Perfect Scene by Alex Honnet
Cast:
Walt Delaney: Alien Space Babe 1
Brian McGovern: Alien Space Babe 2
Alex Honnet: Alien Space Babe 4

ALIEN SPACE BABE 1
I miss our Space Babe friend.
 
ALIEN SPACE BABE 4
Yeah She was the best of the Space Babes.
 
ALIEN SPACE BABE 2
GUYS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO NOTICE THAT I’m PREGNANT WITH A SPACY BABY
 
All 3 SPACE BABES
An Alien Space Babe Space Baby? Now that’s a mouthful!

BLACK OUT

The Pizza Dudes take a deep bow, taking in the rich, resounding applause knowing that they just did the PERFECT SHOW.