Dear C2E2 Organizers,
Congratulations on another successful comic book convention in Chicago. My name is Craig Anders and I used to really enjoy attending your convention. The previous convention in town, Wizard World, was near the airport and it was difficult to attend in costume as people on the Blue Line train would often rob those of us dressed up as characters from popular culture. At many a Wizard World I saw a Dr. Who (usually Tom Baker's Doctor) bloodied and crying on the train while his companion (usually a zaftig Rose Tyler) cried out for help as the villains escaped with their wallet and swag bag. By moving the convention downtown you have saved many a life and given the large and varied fan community in Chicago a place to rally around.
That is why it is with great sadness that I am writing to let you know I will be unable to attend the show in the future. You see, I was denied entry into C2E2 this year. When asked why I was told that my costume was deemed "inappropriate" and that I should be "ashamed of myself" and that "why would a grown ass man think that any part of this was ok?" What about me was so inappropriate? I was dressed as a character of my own creation. I was dressed as Scrotie the Sexual Avenger. He is the star of a very popular web comic.
Have you heard of Scrotie? I have a large and robust daily following on my tumblr page. I have been featured on several 4Chan, Comic Vine, and Reddit posts. My being dressed in the garb of Scrotie was not only more than appropriate it was my own way of promoting myself as well as reaching out to my readers. Fans of my web comic identify as "Scroties" and would have loved nothing more than to get an instagram of them with me. You have truly disappointed both of my fans, Doug and Steve. I hope you are happy.
Your convention is like all the others that I have been refused entry to. When did you stop being about the fans and the independent creators? Why are you merely puppets to some corporate overlords that care not for the average fan? You are no different than those elitists that run DragonCon, Emerald Con, and of course San Diego Comic Con. Maybe if I described some of what makes Scrotie unique you would understand the passion that my two fans Doug and Steve have and I could possibly host a panel for them next year, if I chose to return.
You see, Scrotie is a 6 foot tall crime fighting scrotum. By day he is just the scrotum of lowly data entry worker named Derrick. When Derrick sleeps, that's when Scrotie comes to life to fight those would oppress the libido of big beautiful women across the Chicagoland area. He wears a bondage mask and a leather cape and flys around beating up dudes that are bad at sex and that mistreat the large ladies that love loving around Lake Michigan. His arch nemesis is the Impotenter. He has a ray that causes chronic male impotence, much like the kind that as effected me most of my adult life, though the folks at the CVS 5 Minute Clinic believe mine is caused not by some ray, but by my type 2 diabetes. Scrotie the Sexual Avenger has been published MWF every week for the last four years. He is as real to me and my fans Doug and Steve as Spider-Man or Wolverine is to any of you.
So when I turned up to C2E2 on Saturday and was denied entry I was shocked, hurt, and ultimately, confused. Wasn't this a comic convention? Wasn't I dressed as a comic book character? Hadn't I bought a ticket from the good people at Chicago Comics (my favorite shop in Chicago, I support my local retailers) early to save money and ensure my entrance? What exactly was the problem? Your "guards" believed that my costume was offensive and inappropriate. They also claimed that Scrotie wasn't a real character. Which is insane. He is real. I created him. I cried out for Doug and Steve to help me with the guards but they were no where to be found. I was now alone and forced to walk back to the red line garbed as Scrotie The Sexual Avenger.
You had embarrassed both me and Scrotie. You clearly do not care about comic creators, fans, or the people that have supported you in the past. I hope you realize the error in your way and provide Scrotie and his fans (Doug and Steve) the chance to partake in a panel in the largest room you have available. Also I will require a table to sell Scorite merch and do sketches. Then probably several vouchers for free personal size pizzas at the snack bar. Oh, and maybe a photo with Julie Newmar and former wrestler Virgil. If I receive a letter back from you within the month I will consider returning to your convention. If not, be aware that you will have to face the wrath of the Scrotie, Doug, Steve, and myself.