This unique piece was recovered from what looks to be a self-published internet advice pamphlet. Big thanks to Joe McAdam for transcribing the most prominent section, which is presented without any modifications or editing below:
Online Internet Web Safety and YOU!
by Gordon Stein
In today’s increasingly digital world you can find yourself swamped with websites. That’s right, websites. They’re everywhere these days and they’re not just for “cyber"-ing and casual meet ups with matures anymore. On more and more of these “sites” you are asked to create an account, complete with a user identification (I.D.) and Password (P). It can be tempting to pick something simple like your phone number or street address, but there are “online” predators looking for just that sort of mistake to steal your I.D. (identity). This guide will help you select the best password for you.
Here’s a classic mistake that many have made before you: You’re new to the internet and need a password, and you think no one is out to get you, I’ll pick something easy to remember like “12345”. Not so fast! This is a common mistake, but an easily avoidable one. Here are some quick tips to solve this problem. First, try adding more numbers like this, “123456” or “1234567”. The odds of a “hacker” going to the lengths of trying 1 or 2 more numbers is unlikely. They’re typing these all by hand and will often get tired around 4. Looks like the tortoise wins this race! Another quick tip is to try making your password something a little more devious, like “54321”. Unless your computer is being hackered by a reverse person, you should be in good shape!
Another trick to slip up the would-be internet crooks is to use a word that only you’ll remember, perhaps something from your past. First thing a lot of people think of is “Mom” or “Dad”. You may think this is a unique word to you, but as it turns out lots of people have moms or/and dads. A twist to make this idea uniquely yours is to make it something like “MyMom” or “Dad69”. Adding a number can always help; so pick an easy one to remember like 69. This number is easy to remember because of the sexual position of the same name in which a two partners simultaneously give each other oral sex and the position of their bodies resembles the numerals 6 and 9 put together, hence, 69. Go ahead and try it sometime!
Now that we’re thinking outside the box when it comes to passwords, lets go a little deeper. Another great method of creating a password that’s memorable to you, but will give goons a second thought, is using your favorite sex position. For example, you might want to do something like “missionary69” (don’t forget to add the 69 for extra security, plus it’s just a dynamite position). The more adventurous of you may want to make your password “DogStyle69” or “6969”.
Another method to create a password just for you is to alternate lower and upper case letters. So let’s try something like this “BuTtSex69”. Wow! It’s already twice as hard for a cracker to get into your bank account and all the goodies within (don’t forget to add a 69 to the end for that extra kick!).
Another method to create a password just for you is to alternate lower and upper case letters. So let’s try something like this “BuTtSex69”. Wow! It’s already twice as hard for a cracker to get into your bank account and all the goodies within (don’t forget to add a 69 to the end for that extra kick!).
You know, one beautiful thing about the 69 position is that it’s achievable by any gender combination. Man/Woman, Man/Man, or Woman/Woman. What an amazing thing! Another bonus to this position is that it will never result in an unwanted pregnancy! This means you can continue having unprotected and adventurous sex with either kind of partner (man or woman) with fewer risks. Fewer risks mean you can enjoy yourself more; let your hair down, as my mother would say.
So please, as we enter this new millennium, be safe on Internet and in the bedroom and don’t be shy, try a little 69!
Addendum: The Author’s Meetup.com user I.D. (indentification) is GordoStein69 and he’s very good at sex.